


I Can't

by Love_Starker



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), starker - Fandom
Genre: Depression, M/M, Sad, SadPeter, Suicidal Thoughts, agnst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 03:19:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_Starker/pseuds/Love_Starker
Summary: Peter is tired of people leaving him. He is tired of being a burden. He can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep being a burden to everyone who claims him. He is at a breaking point….he just can’t anymore.





	I Can't

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay hello and welcome to this random sad ass one-shot. My mom has me watching this show with her called A Million Little Things on ABC and I am just hooked. From that, I couldn’t get this idea out of my head so here it is.

Peter couldn’t do this anymore he really couldn’t. Becoming Spiderman didn’t change the fact that his parents are dead, his uncle is dead, and now so was his aunt. He slightly remembered when his parents left him to go on some trip for work and never came back. He remembered holding uncle Ben’s body on that sidewalk on that rainy night as the life bled out of him. Now he remembers May’s body hitting their kitchen floor with a hard thump and then nothing. He felt nothing when he called 911, felt nothing when they rushed in, felt nothing when they pronounced her dead, he didn’t even feel anything when Mr. Stark was there holding him as he stared at the EMT put his aunt into a body bag.

 

He started to wonder after a while if it was him, was he cursed? Why is that every parental figure he’s had has died? What was wrong with him 

Peter couldn’t do this anymore.

 

“Peter your heart level is steadily increasing,” Karen stated. “Are you okay?” she questioned.

 

He knew that he’s been standing on the edge of some tall abandoned building for almost two hours now. It was freezing outside and no matter how many times Mr. Stark redesigned his suit, the chill of New York still seeped into his bones. The moon was offering the only kind of light source as Peter continued to look down wondering, thinking.

 

Could this fall kill me?

 

Would I heal too quickly?

 

Would it be enough?

 

“Peter, you are showing signs of distress calling Mr..–” Karen stated again.

 

“Karen quiet mode.” He quickly interrupted, because the last thing he needed was Mr. Stark to see him like this. So weak and standing on the edge of building ready to off himself if he took one more step. He took his mask off, throwing it somewhere behind him as his mind traveled to the man who took him in.

 

Mr. Stark has been nothing but nice to him, gave him a place to stay at the tower. Paid for anything he needed, clothes, new shoes, took him to his dentist appointments, to school, everything a parent would do Mr. Stark took care off. He often joked that he should just adopt the boy and Peter got this strange sick feeling in the pit of stomach because no.

 

Mr. Stark shouldn’t adopt Peter because clearly, the universe had something against him. And if Mr. Stark died Peter would just, he wouldn’t be able to function anymore, he couldn’t let that happen so instead here he was.Standing tall on some building ready to jump so the universe wouldn’t have the chance to take away the last person he truly cared about.

 

He didn’t know he was crying until a cold breeze brushed against his face and he flinched. He rubbed at his eyes and took a shaky breath before peering down at the ground again.

 

He balled up his fist, he’s thought about this for months now, building up the courage to actually do it. Staying happy for the people around him so they wouldn’t notice. So, they wouldn’t notice that he was crumbling in on himself, that every night he hoped that he wouldn’t wake up in the morning.He went to school and did his work, he’d patrol after until eight and then head back to the tower to have dinner with Mr. Stark. It was like clockwork; his life was a mindless routine and he was tired of it. He was so tired of it.

 

Peter couldn’t do this anymore.


End file.
